Stupidity

You know, the more I think about it, the more stupid I seem to be about some of the random crap I do. I get up at 6:30 in the morning and get ready for the day. I run straight until usually 10 at night or so. I manage to do this with little sleep and little food, which definitely is stupid. Yet I take pride on being able to run like this day after day. Almost like I want people to recognize my stupidity. Granted, I don't know too many people who have the willpower to skip three meals a day while running at full speed, crashing every now and again for a nap. Scarfing something just before going to bed, and get up and do it the next day. Honestly, why in the world do I do this? Is it because financially I don't feel I can afford it? Is it because I'm too busy to actually take the time to eat? Is it because my dad did the same thing in college? Is it because I feel like suffering? Do I like the attention I get from doing it? Am I just too lazy to go to the grocery store? Is it because I'm the worst penny pincher in the world? Who else would pay in nickels to get a loaf of bread. It takes two seconds for me to eat something. My parents will at least make sure I don't starve. It wouldn't take too long to make a trip to the grocery store. There isn't a single good reason I do this. It's just plain stupid.

Last week was a pretty terrible week. I ran out of powdered milk and bread, so I just didn't/don't eat period. I still managed through everything, although with less success than usual. And yet I still haven't gone shopping. This week has gone better for these first two days. I've run from 6:30 to after 10:00 both days with no naps, and of my personal food, I've eaten about 7 crackers. I actually have eaten more just from offerings of other people(cookies and candy), which doesn't happen all that often. Maybe that's what I need... a girlfriend who'll feed me and take care of my physical needs so I don't wither away. That'd solve the problem, but unfortunately, that isn't an option right now. Guess I'll just have to quit being stupid. And that's all it is, is stupidity. Well I can't spend too long on here, gotta sleep and the do it all again tomorrow.